American Idle

Instead of American Idol, how ‘bout a show geared toward finding the most lazy person in America? Or should I have used the word “towards”? I never know and I’m too lazy to find out. Hence, the name American Idle. Get it? Idle, as in not employed. Did I use the word “hence” correctly? Anyway(s), they could just have the contestants sit around doing nothing and America can vote on who is the most idle. Get it? I still don’t know if I should have said “toward” or “towards”. Should I have said “said” or “wrote”? Did I do it again? Oops. I did it again. Isn’t that Brittany Simpson talented? In any case, does the show idea sound boring? Well it is. But not half as boring as watching some show about Danny Bonaduce or that guy who played Peter on The Brady Bunch. Speaking of The Brady Bunch, I saw Barry Williams (not to be confused with the legendary Barry White) on the Wiggles last year. Seemed like he came out of nowhere (and went back again). Why was I watching The Wiggles? My kids tuned them in. I don’t drive a new VW Bug. I prefer listening to Barry White. “I’m gonna love ya, love ya, love ya, just a little more, babe…” Does this seem incoherent? If not, consider this: I didn’t come here to look for trouble. I just came here to do the Superbowl Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuf, shuf, shuf, shuf, shuffle