I Love LA

Reflections on a trip I once took to Los Angeles:

The weather was very hot. It was, however, slightly lower than my body temperature so I don’t understand why I felt so uncomfortable. It was so hot that you could fry an egg (if you had a frying pan and a stove).

The drive to California seemed to drag. You can only sing the theme to the Flintstones so many times before it gets on your wife’s nerves. It occurred to me that if I ate insects, I could have a feast on the car grill.

Upon arrival at Disneyland, I was extremely disappointed to see a zipper running down the back of Pluto. I bet the dog inside doesn’t look anything like Pluto.

Your Next American Idol

Hear me singing Time After Time!

Here's an old picture of me (top middle) and the Doofdaddy (bottom) when we were a big hit in Vegas:

Weight Loss Restaurant

Why give up great food just because it's fattening? I have a friend whose wife is a food chemist. She is constantly working on new recipes for pies which are mass produced and sold at restaurants and discount warehouses. Her and her staff constantly have to do taste tests but they would be big balloons if they swallowed everything they tasted. Instead, they taste it then spit it out. So I'm thinking a great idea for a restaurant is to make all the food with the most unhealthy, fattening ingredients possible. I know my three favorite foods are salt, sugar, and fat. But you could make it acceptable to chew the food then spit it out. You could install a centralized vacuum system with hoses running to each table. Each patron would have their own hose. After enjoying a bite of pizza with deep dish buttered crust, triple cheese, sausage, pepperoni, and bacon, you just discreetly pull the vacuum tube up to your lips and spew it out. The only thing you might swallow is a light side salad. I hesitate to even post this because this restaurant idea could be a gold mine.