@#%$ Happens

I'm not one to use foul language. But it is true that @#%$ happens. So what should I say? Some people say "stuff happens" but it doesn't have the same bite to it. I suppose I could say "crap happens". That may not be as offensive. I could even shorten it up and say "crappens".

Sample conversation:

"Hey dog! Wussup?"

"Ah, you know, crappens."